My boss just said "dollars to donuts" WTF
I have nothing to say that will makes this any funnier.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
A Brief Synopsis of Hot Fudge
Hot Fudge is going to the Jersey Shore this weekend to hang out with turbos. Below are my (RYF) feelings on the matter:
BM: are you sad Hot Fudge wont be here this weekend?
RYF: it's a mixed bag
things i will miss:
1) that stupid grin
2) slapping him in the nuts with no threat of retaliation
3) having someone who takes all of our insults
things i will NOT miss:
1) serious conversations about work
2) serious conversations about laing
also add to things i will miss:
4) having a good target to shoot bottle rockets at
BM: wow. seems like there is much more to miss than not miss
RYF: yes, but you have to remember how much the things not to miss suck
BM: true
Feel free to add the things you will and will not miss about Hot Fudge this weekend,
BM: are you sad Hot Fudge wont be here this weekend?
RYF: it's a mixed bag
things i will miss:
1) that stupid grin
2) slapping him in the nuts with no threat of retaliation
3) having someone who takes all of our insults
things i will NOT miss:
1) serious conversations about work
2) serious conversations about laing
also add to things i will miss:
4) having a good target to shoot bottle rockets at
BM: wow. seems like there is much more to miss than not miss
RYF: yes, but you have to remember how much the things not to miss suck
BM: true
Feel free to add the things you will and will not miss about Hot Fudge this weekend,
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Hot Fudge Burgled my Cigerettes
Apparently infuriated that i was not around last weekend to receive the business end of a serious conversation, Hot Fudge decided to extract his vengeance by thieving 20 rolled cylinders of tobacco from my own bedroom.
What a low life. Maybe you can schedule a serious convo with a parole so he explain to you where this 'hard-knock' lifestyle of yours is taking you.
Directly to jail, scumbag.
Clemency will be granted if the following singular condition is met: at anytime during a serious conversation in which Hot Fudge is one of the two principles involved, I can demand Hot Fudge interjects mid sentence the sound of flatulence for a full 10 seconds.
If this condition is not met, I am taking Hot Fudge's life.
What a low life. Maybe you can schedule a serious convo with a parole so he explain to you where this 'hard-knock' lifestyle of yours is taking you.
Directly to jail, scumbag.
Clemency will be granted if the following singular condition is met: at anytime during a serious conversation in which Hot Fudge is one of the two principles involved, I can demand Hot Fudge interjects mid sentence the sound of flatulence for a full 10 seconds.
If this condition is not met, I am taking Hot Fudge's life.
Did anyone know minute details about Hot Fudge's job performance?
I recently had the pleasure of receiving a full rundown of going on's at Hot Fudge's job. This conversation was completely unsolicited, and you can see that he gave me the gift of over 25 lines of fascinating, elaborately detailed information about his job without me having to say anything. Did anyone know that HF is a low income housing consultant intern? Now I do! I think HF is just sharpening his job-related pick-up technique to use during his next trip to the local dive bar so he can woo some of the local talent.
Gay: hello
the president of my company was here today
and the senior vice president
the resulting decision was that the work me and my one co worker are doing is the only work that my company is doing down here that is successful
im sure no one at the top level will ever say anything
it was more of a grim day for quadel
than be pleased with us
management is upset about everyone else
but one of our people did come in and say that we were the only ones who were discussed favorably in the meeting
it turns out that that time when i showed initiative way back when
and i said something to the computer guy today
and he said i was right
and is taking my suggestion
and I saved us at least a week of work
i told him waht that woman in detroit said about me and he said she didnt know what she was talking about
so that felt good
and maybe ill be able to come home
looks like we're on track to finish what we're assigned to by 8/17
but its a small part of the problem
and the agency is still probably going to get taken over
and the other contractors probably won't finish their assignments
me: will im not sure i needed that level of detail
Gay: yeah
me: youre turning this friendly gchat into a serious conversation
Gay: hello
the president of my company was here today
and the senior vice president
the resulting decision was that the work me and my one co worker are doing is the only work that my company is doing down here that is successful
im sure no one at the top level will ever say anything
it was more of a grim day for quadel
than be pleased with us
management is upset about everyone else
but one of our people did come in and say that we were the only ones who were discussed favorably in the meeting
it turns out that that time when i showed initiative way back when
and i said something to the computer guy today
and he said i was right
and is taking my suggestion
and I saved us at least a week of work
i told him waht that woman in detroit said about me and he said she didnt know what she was talking about
so that felt good
and maybe ill be able to come home
looks like we're on track to finish what we're assigned to by 8/17
but its a small part of the problem
and the agency is still probably going to get taken over
and the other contractors probably won't finish their assignments
me: will im not sure i needed that level of detail
Gay: yeah
me: youre turning this friendly gchat into a serious conversation
Monday, July 30, 2007
Serious Conversation Sunday
Hot Fudge took advantage of the generally lax rules regarding serious conversations on Sundays to have the below conversation with me last night circa 10:30 pm.
RYF - Hello Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Hello. I just wanted to tell you that Lange called me and told me that she did not want to date me because I was one of her best friends.
RYF - Sorry to hear that Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Yeah, why is it that girls like being friends with guys who want to the fuck them?
RYF - Not sure Hot Fudge. Probably because they are all cunts.
Hot Fudge - Yeah, have you ever been friends with a girl that you did not want to have sex with?
RYF - No, Hot Fudge, I have not.
Hot Fudge - Oh. I don't get it. I mean, I am a little chubby, but I have a cute face.
RYF - I am not going to comment on the physical attributes of your face Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Well I have good-looking face.
RYF - I'll take your word for it Hot Fudge. It would probably attract more girls if it weren't always covered in 5 O'Clock Shadow and hot fudge, Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - My face is not always covered in hot fudge.
RYF - Really? Well I guess your face is actually pretty ugly then Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Shut up, I have a nice face. Lange said if she could date just my face she would.
RYF - I would not take that as a compliment Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Trust me, it was a compliment.
RYF - No, I think it was more a comment on your physique Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Well, it's not like she is that hot, and she is shorter than I am.
RYF - Well then why were you obsessed with her Hot Fudge?
Hot Fudge - I don't know, it was convenient. I really need to get a girlfriend.
RYF - That is a bad attitude Hot Fudge. Girls give you no more pleasure than alcohol and tobacco do Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Well how do I meet girls?
RYF - I am not really a good person to ask for advice on this Hot Fudge. I pretty much try to get drunk and if anything else happens, so much the better. But, going out looking to hunt poon always leads to trouble and no fun Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Yeah, but i really need to have a girlfriend.
RYF - You really need to stop being such a little bitch Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - I would rather pay for sex than be in the friend zone again.
RYF - That's the spirit. I have to go, good bye Hot Fudge.
RYF - Hello Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Hello. I just wanted to tell you that Lange called me and told me that she did not want to date me because I was one of her best friends.
RYF - Sorry to hear that Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Yeah, why is it that girls like being friends with guys who want to the fuck them?
RYF - Not sure Hot Fudge. Probably because they are all cunts.
Hot Fudge - Yeah, have you ever been friends with a girl that you did not want to have sex with?
RYF - No, Hot Fudge, I have not.
Hot Fudge - Oh. I don't get it. I mean, I am a little chubby, but I have a cute face.
RYF - I am not going to comment on the physical attributes of your face Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Well I have good-looking face.
RYF - I'll take your word for it Hot Fudge. It would probably attract more girls if it weren't always covered in 5 O'Clock Shadow and hot fudge, Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - My face is not always covered in hot fudge.
RYF - Really? Well I guess your face is actually pretty ugly then Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Shut up, I have a nice face. Lange said if she could date just my face she would.
RYF - I would not take that as a compliment Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Trust me, it was a compliment.
RYF - No, I think it was more a comment on your physique Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Well, it's not like she is that hot, and she is shorter than I am.
RYF - Well then why were you obsessed with her Hot Fudge?
Hot Fudge - I don't know, it was convenient. I really need to get a girlfriend.
RYF - That is a bad attitude Hot Fudge. Girls give you no more pleasure than alcohol and tobacco do Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Well how do I meet girls?
RYF - I am not really a good person to ask for advice on this Hot Fudge. I pretty much try to get drunk and if anything else happens, so much the better. But, going out looking to hunt poon always leads to trouble and no fun Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - Yeah, but i really need to have a girlfriend.
RYF - You really need to stop being such a little bitch Hot Fudge.
Hot Fudge - I would rather pay for sex than be in the friend zone again.
RYF - That's the spirit. I have to go, good bye Hot Fudge.
SC Update Monday
So word has it there were several solid serious conversations this past weekend, one resluting is a kicked out plate glass window. too bad those poor people won't be able to afford to have it fixed huh?
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Does anyone know anyone that works as a consultant?
Possibly a consulting firm that deal a lot with HUD? I'd really like to know what a day in the life of a consultant in the DC metro area who works closely with the Housing and Urban Development Authority is like.
Perhaps we could use this blog as a vehicle to launch many many many serious conversations about such a day-in-the-life?
Perhaps we could use this blog as a vehicle to launch many many many serious conversations about such a day-in-the-life?
Will's Salty Shoulder
Will looks forward to weekends because he loves it when other people's relationships, under the duress of alcohol abuse, explode into an argument. Then he likes to get his shoulder all salty by doling out relationship advice from his vast archive of experience.
Serious Conversation Friday
I would like to alert y'all of upcoming Serious Conversation Friday. We have officially retired Big Time Drama Friday, so don't even try assholes.
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